I just can't figure it out

Why is it that when I ask a class to do rhythm movements, such as clapping or tapping their hands on themselves or an instrument- no matter what grade it is- all the guys do so as hard as they possibly can?

With the 2nd grade today, one of our songs involved patting the steady beat on different places of the body, firstly the head. (this song is also mentioned in the other blog) (Is firstly even a word? If not then it should be!). Just as I predicted, the boys started smacking the crap out of their heads.

Why?

Same goes if they are clapping their hands or if I hand out percussion instruments. It's never the girls. Even when I say before hand that they need to make sure they do it softly and/or quietly, it doesn't make a difference. It's like males cannot help it - they've got to get violent!

I wish I could figure it out.

Any clues?

Songs I need to download on my iPod

Sorry, guys. This probably won't be very interesting. It's more of me making a list where I can find it again. But if you're bored, you should find a few and listen to them yourself. You never know what you might like!

Prokofiev - Romeo and Juliet

Khachaturian - Masquerada Suite

Howard Hanson - Symphony No. 2

Samuel Barber - String Quartet in b Major

Bach - Suite for Cello No. 1 in G

Joaquin Rodrigo - Concierto De Aranjuez for Guitar

I'm sure that the list will grow, but that's what I've got for now. Great music. Love.

Puppy cam!

If you are like me and love everything about puppies...

And you don't think that stalking puppies is wrong (like me!)

Then check out the puppy cam!

http://www.ustream.tv/SFShiba

You won't be able to look away!

From the mouths of my students

It's definitely been an interesting day here at school.

My 8th graders were singing our theme song this afternoon - very poorly. I'm not talking about the genuine I can't sing well. They were shouting and singing off pitch on purpose.

"If I were to go get the principal, ask him to come and hear what we're singing and you were to sing like that, do you think that he would be pleased?"

"Well if he were in here, we would sing it right."


On a lighter note, I was reviewing our Martin Luther King song with my 3rd graders since they had a sub last week when they learned it for the first time. They were singing it through and appeared to be having a good time.

I asked them what style of music the song was.

::crickets::

I explained that the song was in the gospel style.

A hand in the front row raises.

"Mrs. R, I didn't know that Martin Luther King was in the gospel."

It took everything I had not to laugh!

Puff the Magic Dragon

Today I was doing some review with my 2nd grade music class. We were going through some of the songs that they learned earlier in the school year, before we started working on the Christmas program.

They all got so excited when we got to the pages with the song Puff the Magic Dragon.

"I love this song!"

"This one is my favorite!"

"Yes!"

Now, it was very cute hearing them get so excited over a song. And they were darling singing it.
The thing is though, this song depresses me.

Puff and Jackie Paper are great friends, and they do everything together. They go out on all kinds of adventures and everyone knows who they are.

Then Jackie grows up. He stops going to see Puff.

Puff doesn't have his best friend anymore and he's all alone.

"Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave. So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave."

This line of the song alone makes me want to cry! I get into a funk every time we do this song in class.

We've read the story out loud, and I've explained it to the kids. But they aren't phased by it one bit. Even the sad parts they sing with smiles on their faces.

Now I'm know that I am pregnant and over-emotional, but I remember this song bothering me last year as well. So why do I see it as a downer while the kids favor it?

All I can think is poor Puff! I'll come hang out with your in your cave. Or you can come over to my house. I'll make spaghetti. Then we can watch Law and Order reruns on tv. You've probably never seen them before, so it'll be like watching new episodes! Then maybe we can all go out and I'll take you to my favorite restaurant. Do you like sushi, Puff? You should try it!

This problem that I'm having here probably is connected to the fact that I still purchase stuffed animals for myself.

Happy MLK Day!

This might piss some people off. Just sayin.

First of all, I think that Martin Luther King Jr. was a great man and an important figure in our nation's history. I commend the man and have nothing but respect for him. His life and accomplishments should be celebrated and I have no problem with the fact that he has his own day.

Now, we had a teacher inservice today. The kids had off, but we all had to come in for the whole day. But it's MKL Day. This is where I get offensive. I work in an environment that is not what you could call diverse. What am I trying to say? Every single last one of us is white.

My MIL works in a public school a couple miles away. They did not have school today. They are having their inservice tomorrow. Wanna take a guess as to why? Could it have anything to do with the fact that not only the faculty, but the student population as well is more "diverse"?

Here's what I'm really trying to get at:

If we had one single African American teacher at my school, we would not have had to come in to work today.

There, I said it.

If every single kid in the school was Chinese, would we still have Christmas break? No, we would have our 2 week break during the Chinese New Year.

Did I make a point? Did I even have a point to begin with? Happy birthday, Martin. You were so much more than a swell guy.

I'm going to be honest here - this post is really just acknowledging the fact that I haven't written anything here in a long time. Yes, I am aware. But every time I sit down to write, it all ends up being baby/pregnancy related, and that goes on the other blog. That has literally consumed our lives.

So I don't really have anything funny or witty to talk about.

I would like to give a book review on the Sookie Stackhouse series, but I am as of now only partway through the first book.

I would like to talk about my new nook, but I haven't really used it enough yet to know what all to say.

I could talk about the baby...

Damnit! See, I told you it's all we freaking think about!

Even my rambles about work tend to get tied up into being pregnant.

I promise I'll be back at some point. Don't lose hope in me!

My cuddle kit

I'm not sure if A believes me, but I swear that the only reason Mia snuggles on me as much as she does is because she's a boob kind of girl. A doesn't have mountains for her to rest on!

I am seriously no good in the kitchen

Since I had the day off today and we are currently low on funds, I decided to make lunch today. I mean, how hard can a cheese quesadilla be? I'm sure I've made them before. Well, today was not my day.
Yeah, it was still edible and all, but come on! You'd think I could do better than that! The damn tortillas were too big to fit in the pan and then they stuck to the bottom when I tried to flip it over. Urgh. I need a full-time cook in this house.

Bohemian Rhapsody by the Muppets!

I have always been a Muppets fan. I watched Muppet Babies when I was little, and the Muppet Show when it was on. I've seen the 3D Muppets in MGM Studios. They make me smile. And this video is pure awesome.

So everyone has pet peeves

But what if you have a student that is a total pet peeve of yours?

Yes, I realize that this makes me sound like a bitch. I am a teacher and I am supposed to love and adore every single one of my students. Well let me just tell you that this is bullshit and whoever said that was on fucking drugs.

Anyway.

There's this kid. He has OCD - BAD. Literally everything he does drives me nuts. He walks in late. He spaces out. He mats his bangs down on his face constantly. He asks the strangest questions at the most inappropriate times. He never finishes his art projects because he is either organizing his colored pencils or he is too worried about making it perfect.

But music class is so much worse. We're doing recorder and while he can recognize the notes on the page and show you how it's fingered on the recorder, that's basically the extent. Normally, he just doesn't play with the rest of the class. And I keep having to get him back on task.

Today he developed a new tick.

Now he can't have any spit in his recorder.

Which means that after every single note that he plays, he immediatel has to take this big, huge, loud suck through the recorder to get the spit back that just might have gone into the instrument. Every. Damn. Time.

The sound can be heard even when everyone else in the class is playing at the same time. It makes other kids stop and turn around. It makes me want to lose my lunch.

So I talked to the class about how they should breath when they are playing their instrument. And even what they should do if their nose is stopped up. But does that help the situation?

NO.

I asked him to please stop making that noise and he argued that his recorder won't play when there is spit inside.

Then he took the whole damn thing apart.

Then he put it back together again and starting sucking through it again.

I wanted to punch him.

He is my pet peeve.

Oh, and he's also the kid that is afraid of cameras and refuses to stand in the front row at the Christmas program. So even if he does manage to learn the damn music, he's going to spend the whole time up there on the risers ducking behind other students to get away from the camera flash.

This kid needs help. Because I can't give it to him!

New Moon review

I really bet that A wished he hadn't owed me a chic flick. Because I finally cashed in. We saw New Moon on Saturday.

First, let me start off by saying that I am not Twilight crazed. I read the series a year ago and enjoyed them. That's it.

I was curious to see if this movie was going to be any better than the first one. Because let's be honest - Twilight could have been done a lot better.













This movie was done better. The acting was better, and it definitely looked like they had more of a budget this time around.

Here were my issues though:

It was too long.

Parts were incredibly too slow.

They had a hard task, because this was a depressing book. And had they left all of the suicidal banter from the book in the movie, I would still probably be sitting there. So yes, I can tell that they tried.

A was bored out of his mind. I don't really blame him. The only reason I wasn't completely was because I knew the story. I already had a connection with the characters. But I was uncomfortable sitting there for 2 and a half hours.

I had forgotten, since it has been a while since I read through the books, how much of a Jacob fan I am. I don't care what all those Team Edward people say. Jacob is so much better for Bella. Plus, he's a big puppy dog! I found myself getting pissed at the end when she leaves Jacob, after all those near make-out sessions for Edward, without even really an explanation.

Edward, you are an idiot. You don't deserve her.

"But I did it because I love her. I was trying to protect her."

Can it, buster. She should be with Jacob.

"Edward, I want you to change me NOW!"

Shut the fuck up, Bella. You're dumb.

Yes, I will be seeing the other two movies when they come out. They've got me. I'm just curious enough to hand over my money.

I give this film 3 imaginary stars.

Nothin' says "ho, ho, ho" like this sweater

Hells-to-the-no. I don't think you could pay me money to wear this sweater.

Now, I will admit that I have a few articles of holiday clothing, mostly because I work at a school with lots of little kids. And I have to look festive when I do my Christmas programs. But let's store this one in the never category.

Not that it would really be appropriate for me to wear to work anyway!

How do they know it started with a kiss, anyway? It could have started with a hug, or you could have skipped the foreplay and just rammed it right in.

If I see any pregnant woman out there sporting this sweater, I'm going to have a hard time not saying anything to her. Loudly. With my fist.

I am hateful

I want to just quit. Give up. Flip my boss the bird on both hands and never look back. But I can't. Because we couldn't afford it. (And it wouldn't look so great when I decided I wanted to try to get a job again...)

There is no way that I could possibly go into all the details, but my boss had an hour-long talk with me on Monday and what all boiled down to I either try to be more like him or I'm out of a job at the end of the school year.

Some things I can change. I can sit at my desk less. I would argue that I wasn't at my desk all that much, and when I was, it was at the very end of classes. But since you can't argue with my boss, this means that unless I am on my plan, I am not allowed to sit at my desk.

And yet, he still sends out emails in the middle of the freaking day that he wants us to respond immediately to. ::shakes fist::

Yes, my classroom is dusty. And some things could be thrown away or organized better. Ok ok, I'll work on that.

But my classroom management? Are you freaking kidding me? And no one else has trouble with the 8th grade?

I CALL BULLSHIT.

My principal thinks that I should spend all of my time with the middle school students playing our percussion instruments. So I should reward their bad behavior by letting them handle very expensive school equipment. Sounds like a grand fucking plan to me.

And they should perform once a month. No.

Ok, so I can definitely do the drums with my 7th graders - most of them are good kids. Only a few difficult ones. And I have the instruments - enough to go around. But I do not have the curriculum materials to teach them. Drum circles just don't fucking develop out of no where. But does my boss offer to send me to any professional development? No. I'm supposed to fucking pull it out my ass.

This is all because he went to a conference in Indy a few weeks ago where he saw a middle school group perform a half-hour's worth of drum circle shit. And now he has to have that here.

Did I mention that he fucking went through my desk when I wasn't at school Thursday morning and berated me about my food stash? Invasion of privacy, anyone? I'm not the one hiding a mini fridge in my classroom like the primary teachers. But I get my ass reamed for a pop tart and some peanuts in a jar?

There were many other things that were thrown out at me. I'll spare you.

So I'm stuck. I know that I have to become an assertive kiss-ass if I want to save my own job.

This makes me irritable, depressed-like, upset - I can't sleep at night. I think of scenarios where harm is caused to my boss (not by me, of course!)

Baby Daven is going to grow up to be big and strong, and then he's going to come back and kick this guy's ass.

Jew repellent!

Bacon soap!

Never have time on the week days to fry up your favorite bacon? Now you can have it in the shower!

Have an orthodox frenemy that just won't get out of your grill? Bathe with bacon!

The makers of this pretty little product "captured the enticing aroma of frying bacon in a bar of soap"

For just $5.95 (+shipping) this glorious bar of soap can be yours!

Wait, what? That's not enough, you say? Well then you'll be delighted to add this to your own stocking this holiday:

Here's the smell of bacon that you can continue to reapply as many times a day as you like. It'll make everyone in the office want to have breakfast for dinner.

Or maybe they'll just want to eat you...

For only $2.95, who wouldn't want to give it a try (and a taste!)

For these and other bacon things, you can visit here.

Farking fark

Fark #1
So the Veteran's Day program is this Friday. I've got a ton of groups performing. One of them is my 6th grade orchestra. Yes, the word orchestra sounds like a big group, but at my little school, I only have 2 students.

They are nice kids and work well together, and we generally get a lot done in class. I enjoy them.

One of my two kids just went home earlier with the stomach bug and a temp. This means best case, he will still be out tomorrow for the dress rehearsal. What will we do if he's not here Friday? I don't want to make my one student play it by herself. But I don't have a violin to play along with her.

Fark.

Fark #2
This has to do with the same stinking program. For whatever reason, the deanery science fair is the same day as the program. I worked it out with the principal so that my band students involved in both could still do both. But today in my sign language electives, I was informed that two of my 6 kids in there are going to the science fair and won't be there to sign the Pledge of Allegiance with us. Another is a part of the church choir and might not be able to sign with the group. So that leaves 3 of them, 2 of which aren't the shiniest gold in the treasure chest.

Fark.

Yeah, I'm that lame

I was sitting in my classroom with my 6th grade band today before lunch and I was playing clarinet along with them. We were practicing for the song they are playing for the Veteran's Day program last week. I started them out and played along, but quickly had to stop because they were playing way too fast - even too fast for them!

And this is what I said:

"Woah, woah! Slow down! If I were the tempo police, you'd all get a ticket!"

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all year.

A short conversation with a 2nd grader

There are these two girls in one of my classes that, my alphabetical order, sit together. As they were walking in to my class today, I called their names and asked one of the girls to sit in the next row back for today. They both ignored me and walked away.

"______, come here please"

She slowly walks back up to me.

"I was talking to you when you came in the door."

Blank stare

"Would you like it if I walked away from you while you were talking to me?"

"Yes."

Not the response I was going for! I guess I need to learn to stop asking questions to which I am expecting a certain answer. Well played, 2nd grader. Well played.

For fuck's sake!

My 6th and 7th/8th band classes have been preparing for the Veteran's Day program (next Friday) since pretty much the beginning of the school year. We're finally so close to being performance ready! And then they dropped a bomb.

"Mrs. R, did you know that the deanery science fair is next Friday?"

"No, I was not aware of this. How does that affect us?"

"Well, there are going to be 5 people chosen to go to the science fair, and if we are chosen, we won't be there for the program."

"How many of you are entered?"

6 of them.

How many students in total do I have, you ask?

11

Fuck.

So I could possibly be missing half of my band for our first performance of the year. And you can guess who that will look bad on.

On another note, I'm trying to find a sub for next Thursday, when I have my morning appointment at the doctors for the 1 hour GD test. But can I find a sub? Keep in mind that this is over a week away...NO! Apparently they are having a teacher inservice that day and already have 7 subs lined up. So guess who's fucked? You've got it. But if I had tried to line up a sub a month ago when I got the appointment, I wouldn't have gotten an answer from anyone because that would have been too far in advance.

God, I love this place.

And I fail

So I was giving this private lesson to a violin student who because of his schedule, cannot join our orchestra class. He promises me that he still wants to play and that he will promise to practice. This is his third year playing.

I'm sitting there listening to him, and he clearly wasn't playing the excerpt right.

"What kind of notes are those in the second measure?"

"Quarter note?"

"No, those are not quarter notes"

"Uhh..."

"They're half notes, ____"

"So now that I've told you that they are half notes, how many beats does a half note get?"

"Uh, a half a beat?"

::headdeskrepeat::

Seriously? I fail as a teacher.

I could say in my defense that he's border line special needs, but really, I fail.