Saturday, September 26, 2009
People cones
Thanks, A, for this one. It's twisted and hilarious all at the same time. And it makes me want ice cream cones!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Grieving father takes boobie handouts
It starts out as a sad story. This guy and his wife, both college professors, are having their second child. Something goes terribly wrong. The mom dies during childbirth.
Then it just gets weird.
Apparently, the parents were "firm believers" in breastfeeding. But you would think that the loss of the mother would change this, and the baby would be formula fed, right?
Nope.
Approximately 25 of women from the area have rallied around, to lend a boob to baby Moses. Yes, the women of the town go to this guy's house in shifts to breastfeed the baby. WTF?
I am not kidding you.
First of all, how could this boob belief be so strong that you would want stranger women coming into your house to whip out their ta-tas for your newborn son? And secondly, how is this kid NOT confused out of his mind? So many boobs, so little time.
But it's not just feed and run for these ladies, no, no!
"They don't just drop by for five minutes and leave," Goodrich said. "These are loving, nurturing women. They're proud of what they're doing. They're proud of the community, and they're proud of their new micro-community."
Yes indeed, proud of the milk they squirt.
And maybe trying to make the moves on the grieving dad.
This whole thing just boggles my mind. I guess I'm just not good-natured enough to think I'd ever lend a boob. I mean, we aren't pilgrims. There are other means by which to feed the baby! Whatever makes them happy though. I just hope one of the boob stripers doesn't have AIDS. Or psychotic tendencies.
Then it just gets weird.
Apparently, the parents were "firm believers" in breastfeeding. But you would think that the loss of the mother would change this, and the baby would be formula fed, right?
Nope.
Approximately 25 of women from the area have rallied around, to lend a boob to baby Moses. Yes, the women of the town go to this guy's house in shifts to breastfeed the baby. WTF?
I am not kidding you.
First of all, how could this boob belief be so strong that you would want stranger women coming into your house to whip out their ta-tas for your newborn son? And secondly, how is this kid NOT confused out of his mind? So many boobs, so little time.
But it's not just feed and run for these ladies, no, no!
"They don't just drop by for five minutes and leave," Goodrich said. "These are loving, nurturing women. They're proud of what they're doing. They're proud of the community, and they're proud of their new micro-community."
Yes indeed, proud of the milk they squirt.
And maybe trying to make the moves on the grieving dad.
This whole thing just boggles my mind. I guess I'm just not good-natured enough to think I'd ever lend a boob. I mean, we aren't pilgrims. There are other means by which to feed the baby! Whatever makes them happy though. I just hope one of the boob stripers doesn't have AIDS. Or psychotic tendencies.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
A tribute to Kanye
It's been all over the news by now what this fuck-tard did at the VMAs earlier this week. A was right - South Park coined Kanye correctly! (Do you like to eat fish sticks? Yes. Well what are you, a gay fish. NO I'M NOT!!)
The joke
The music video
So, not only did word leak out that the president called Kanye West a jackass (big thumbs up!) but people all over have been making fun of his drunken outrage where he took over Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to tell everyone that Beyonce had the best video. Well, some very creative people have done some tributes to this outrageous explosion of stupidity. I've chosen some that I know A will appreciate, and I think you will too.
Ok, so that last one was for me. I know it's so simple, but it's so hilarious at the same time! We can make fun of this turd so much! All of the pictures can be found here.
Go to hell, Kanye.
The joke
The music video
So, not only did word leak out that the president called Kanye West a jackass (big thumbs up!) but people all over have been making fun of his drunken outrage where he took over Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to tell everyone that Beyonce had the best video. Well, some very creative people have done some tributes to this outrageous explosion of stupidity. I've chosen some that I know A will appreciate, and I think you will too.
Ok, so that last one was for me. I know it's so simple, but it's so hilarious at the same time! We can make fun of this turd so much! All of the pictures can be found here.
Go to hell, Kanye.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
If you are a male and have any decency, please only wear black bike shorts!
A shared this with me. I laugh every time I see it. He found it on digg.com. I think he's a bit obsessed with the site, actually, but if he wasn't, then I would never know about this little gem.
I do not like bike shorts. I have never worn them myself. I guess if I were a serious biker though (think streamers, not motorcycles), I'd have to. There are a lot of serious bikers out there. They compete and race and all that grand stuff.
But some of them don't wear black bike shorts.
But why does that matter, L? What if they don't like the color black? What if they need more variety in their biking gear? Well my friends, if you are a man, then this is why. Lets have a little look, ok?
I really don't think that I need to go into any further explanation here. I mean, with the red shorts, the two guys on the far right's penises are talking to each other. I wonder what they are saying?
"Mighty good ride today."
"I'll show you a good ride."
"You're such a tease!"
And poor Mr. Popcorn there, second to the left. I would feel inadequate too, buddy.
Guys, please wear black bike shorts. I mean, it's still obvious that there's a bulge there, but at least we don't have to know when your penis is talking to another person's crotch.
I do not like bike shorts. I have never worn them myself. I guess if I were a serious biker though (think streamers, not motorcycles), I'd have to. There are a lot of serious bikers out there. They compete and race and all that grand stuff.
But some of them don't wear black bike shorts.
But why does that matter, L? What if they don't like the color black? What if they need more variety in their biking gear? Well my friends, if you are a man, then this is why. Lets have a little look, ok?
I really don't think that I need to go into any further explanation here. I mean, with the red shorts, the two guys on the far right's penises are talking to each other. I wonder what they are saying?
"Mighty good ride today."
"I'll show you a good ride."
"You're such a tease!"
And poor Mr. Popcorn there, second to the left. I would feel inadequate too, buddy.
Guys, please wear black bike shorts. I mean, it's still obvious that there's a bulge there, but at least we don't have to know when your penis is talking to another person's crotch.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Dumb-ass Duggars
I know this is the talk of the town today, as these weirdos were on the morning news again, so I have to talk about it. Mrs. Clown Car is having her 19th baby. Yep. The youngest is only 5 months old, and she's 3 months pregnant with this one. Good Lord! She must have a vag of steel. I know that once you have had a baby, you are supposed to wait at least 6 weeks before getting the snake out of it's cage again.
Seriously, what about this couple just screams frequent sex? I wouldn't want to touch either one of them for all the money in the world. ::blech:: I mean, in order to have 19 kids, imagine how many times they've had to do it!
They claim that they are leaving it up to God to decide how many kids they will have.
::bring bring::
God: Hello?
Me: Hey God, it's L. Look, I was hoping that you could do me a little favor.
God: I've already told you, the world can't be made out of sushi
Me: No no, it's about that Duggar lady.
God: What an idiot!
Me: I know, right? So, how about you do your magic and make this woman go through menopause already! Thank, God! You're the man!
Really, is it about "God's will" and wanting a big family? Or is it about shocking everyone yet again when they found out that her uterus of gold is housing yet another conservative Duggar?
This is getting out of hand. I think someone needs to start force-feeding her birth control. Or just cut out her damn ute. I'm tired of hearing about it, and I'm tired of seeing it.
Screw you, Duggars!
We have sex all the time!
Seriously, what about this couple just screams frequent sex? I wouldn't want to touch either one of them for all the money in the world. ::blech:: I mean, in order to have 19 kids, imagine how many times they've had to do it!
They claim that they are leaving it up to God to decide how many kids they will have.
::bring bring::
God: Hello?
Me: Hey God, it's L. Look, I was hoping that you could do me a little favor.
God: I've already told you, the world can't be made out of sushi
Me: No no, it's about that Duggar lady.
God: What an idiot!
Me: I know, right? So, how about you do your magic and make this woman go through menopause already! Thank, God! You're the man!
Really, is it about "God's will" and wanting a big family? Or is it about shocking everyone yet again when they found out that her uterus of gold is housing yet another conservative Duggar?
This is getting out of hand. I think someone needs to start force-feeding her birth control. Or just cut out her damn ute. I'm tired of hearing about it, and I'm tired of seeing it.
Screw you, Duggars!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Coheed and Cambria concert at Headliners
I know that I've taken a long time to post about this, but here it is finally. Monday, Aug. 17 was the day. I was so excited about seeing Coheed and Cambria at Headliners in Louisville. We've always had to travel to see them, and this time they were right across the river! A and I went, and we took his sister and my friend panda.
The shirt I'm wearing is the one that I made. It has the keywork on the belly and above that it says, "Baby's first concert".
After we stood in our spots at the front on the railing for an hour, the local band played. Bless their hearts, they weren't that good. Entertaining sure, but get the drummer a better set! He had to stop and fix something with it after just about every song! After they played, we still had to wait I don't know how long until Coheed came on. Everything up until then was fine and dandy. I had no idea that I was about to get humped and smashed by complete strangers!
I love this band with all of my soul, but their concert experience wasn't exactly totally pleasant. From the moment they started playing, everyone lurched forward, as if somehow trying to get closer to the band, and smashing everyone and everything. If I hadn't been on the railing, I wouldn't have been able to stay standing up. The show was sold out and it was like everyone in the room was trying to get your exact spot. They were jumping around, slamming into one another, elbowing - it was crazy. I for one like to have my own personal space, and this concert definitely made me feel very claustrophobic. Add on top of that it was about 100 degrees in there and I was sweating from every place on my body you could possibly sweat from. It was worse than an all day trip to Disney World. Please stop shoving the pregnant lady!
There were a few times when I thought I wasn't going to make it. How I got through the show without passing out, I will never know. A tried to get me to move and go to the back a couple of times, but damnit, he stood in line all day for our spots and I wasn't going to make us give them up to those idiots behind us!
Have I mentioned yet that I hate crowd surfers? Well let me do that now. What are you thinking? Do you like having stranger's hands all over your parts? How exactly do you think you are appreciating the music when you are kicking people in the head and have to have security help get you down? How about you chill the fuck down, stand in your place and appreciate by singing and listening! Dumb fucks. I'm sorry if you are a crowd surfer. You might not be a completely bad person. But I don't like you.
So there was this dumb bitch who Lord help her, I don't know her name. But if I did, she would have it coming! I don't know exactly what happened, but this girl was a total twat. Some high school chic was being really nasty to my friend, panda. I don't know if it was because she wanted her spot or her looks or what. Throughout the concert she was elbowing and shoving my friend. Panda tried to ignore her and just push her back a little. Then the bitch had the audacity to dig her nails into and down my friend's back. At this point, panda turned about and decked her right in the face. And this started the fight. If I had been over there with her, I think I would have gotten myself kicked out because no one fucking does that to one of my friends. I don't fight and have never fought anyone in my life, but my pregnancy hormones were kicking in and I wanted over there to whoop that girl's ass!
Security broke it up and I don't know how that girl got to stay and watch the rest of the concert. One of the guys told me that if I so much as touched another person and he saw it, I would be kicked out. This was after I told him about my utter distaste for crowd surfers.
So what about the actual show? They played great. It was a 12 song set. I loved watching them play. I just wish that I could have sang along more. But you couldn't breathe in there! The only thing I wish is that the environment that they played in would have been more condusive to me actually being able to fully enjoy it!
One thing that I was slightly disappointed about, despite the fact that it was blazing hot and miserable in there, I wish that they would have played a longer improve on final cut. It is so awesome when each member of the band gets their own solo section. Of course, if I were them, I wouldn't want to play anymore either. They still played it for significantly longer than the regular recording. And I can't really complain because they are amazing!
The rest of the night made up for my discomfort during the concert though. We got to meet half the band!
In addition to getting our new shirts signed that we purchased at the concert, I also got Claudio to sign the shirt I was wearing on the belly, so technically our little one has already gotten his or her first concert autograph. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet Travis or Chris. But I didn't think that we would be able to meet any of them, and was so happy that they took the time to talk to us, sign our shirts, and get pictures with us. It was definitely a night that I'm never going to forget. They were all such nice, down to earth people and that makes me love the band even more. I already can't wait until we can see them in concert again. Although next time, hopefully I'll be able to keep my personal space like at their Halloween show a few years ago in Cleveland. I think as far as show-wise, that one was still my favorite, although nothing can compare to meeting some of the band!
I heart you, Coheed and Cambria!
The shirt I'm wearing is the one that I made. It has the keywork on the belly and above that it says, "Baby's first concert".
A, me, sis, and panda
Before the show
Before the show
L and I are super excited!
Aw, brother and sister
No! Don't eat the ticket, panda!
Me and the hubby
A bit of their equipment
Banner in the back
Chris's drumset
After we stood in our spots at the front on the railing for an hour, the local band played. Bless their hearts, they weren't that good. Entertaining sure, but get the drummer a better set! He had to stop and fix something with it after just about every song! After they played, we still had to wait I don't know how long until Coheed came on. Everything up until then was fine and dandy. I had no idea that I was about to get humped and smashed by complete strangers!
Travis's new haircut!
Claudio playing (Mic in the background)
I love this band with all of my soul, but their concert experience wasn't exactly totally pleasant. From the moment they started playing, everyone lurched forward, as if somehow trying to get closer to the band, and smashing everyone and everything. If I hadn't been on the railing, I wouldn't have been able to stay standing up. The show was sold out and it was like everyone in the room was trying to get your exact spot. They were jumping around, slamming into one another, elbowing - it was crazy. I for one like to have my own personal space, and this concert definitely made me feel very claustrophobic. Add on top of that it was about 100 degrees in there and I was sweating from every place on my body you could possibly sweat from. It was worse than an all day trip to Disney World. Please stop shoving the pregnant lady!
There were a few times when I thought I wasn't going to make it. How I got through the show without passing out, I will never know. A tried to get me to move and go to the back a couple of times, but damnit, he stood in line all day for our spots and I wasn't going to make us give them up to those idiots behind us!
Have I mentioned yet that I hate crowd surfers? Well let me do that now. What are you thinking? Do you like having stranger's hands all over your parts? How exactly do you think you are appreciating the music when you are kicking people in the head and have to have security help get you down? How about you chill the fuck down, stand in your place and appreciate by singing and listening! Dumb fucks. I'm sorry if you are a crowd surfer. You might not be a completely bad person. But I don't like you.
So there was this dumb bitch who Lord help her, I don't know her name. But if I did, she would have it coming! I don't know exactly what happened, but this girl was a total twat. Some high school chic was being really nasty to my friend, panda. I don't know if it was because she wanted her spot or her looks or what. Throughout the concert she was elbowing and shoving my friend. Panda tried to ignore her and just push her back a little. Then the bitch had the audacity to dig her nails into and down my friend's back. At this point, panda turned about and decked her right in the face. And this started the fight. If I had been over there with her, I think I would have gotten myself kicked out because no one fucking does that to one of my friends. I don't fight and have never fought anyone in my life, but my pregnancy hormones were kicking in and I wanted over there to whoop that girl's ass!
Security broke it up and I don't know how that girl got to stay and watch the rest of the concert. One of the guys told me that if I so much as touched another person and he saw it, I would be kicked out. This was after I told him about my utter distaste for crowd surfers.
So what about the actual show? They played great. It was a 12 song set. I loved watching them play. I just wish that I could have sang along more. But you couldn't breathe in there! The only thing I wish is that the environment that they played in would have been more condusive to me actually being able to fully enjoy it!
One thing that I was slightly disappointed about, despite the fact that it was blazing hot and miserable in there, I wish that they would have played a longer improve on final cut. It is so awesome when each member of the band gets their own solo section. Of course, if I were them, I wouldn't want to play anymore either. They still played it for significantly longer than the regular recording. And I can't really complain because they are amazing!
The rest of the night made up for my discomfort during the concert though. We got to meet half the band!
Us with Wes, the keyboard player
Wes signing our shirts!
Mic, the bass player, signing A's shirt
Us and Mic
Waiting for Claudio
Claudio signing A's shirt
Us and Claudio, lead singer and rhythm guitar
Claudio even signed A's tattoo of one of their comic covers
In addition to getting our new shirts signed that we purchased at the concert, I also got Claudio to sign the shirt I was wearing on the belly, so technically our little one has already gotten his or her first concert autograph. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet Travis or Chris. But I didn't think that we would be able to meet any of them, and was so happy that they took the time to talk to us, sign our shirts, and get pictures with us. It was definitely a night that I'm never going to forget. They were all such nice, down to earth people and that makes me love the band even more. I already can't wait until we can see them in concert again. Although next time, hopefully I'll be able to keep my personal space like at their Halloween show a few years ago in Cleveland. I think as far as show-wise, that one was still my favorite, although nothing can compare to meeting some of the band!
I heart you, Coheed and Cambria!
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