My cuddle kit

I'm not sure if A believes me, but I swear that the only reason Mia snuggles on me as much as she does is because she's a boob kind of girl. A doesn't have mountains for her to rest on!

I am seriously no good in the kitchen

Since I had the day off today and we are currently low on funds, I decided to make lunch today. I mean, how hard can a cheese quesadilla be? I'm sure I've made them before. Well, today was not my day.
Yeah, it was still edible and all, but come on! You'd think I could do better than that! The damn tortillas were too big to fit in the pan and then they stuck to the bottom when I tried to flip it over. Urgh. I need a full-time cook in this house.

Bohemian Rhapsody by the Muppets!

I have always been a Muppets fan. I watched Muppet Babies when I was little, and the Muppet Show when it was on. I've seen the 3D Muppets in MGM Studios. They make me smile. And this video is pure awesome.

So everyone has pet peeves

But what if you have a student that is a total pet peeve of yours?

Yes, I realize that this makes me sound like a bitch. I am a teacher and I am supposed to love and adore every single one of my students. Well let me just tell you that this is bullshit and whoever said that was on fucking drugs.

Anyway.

There's this kid. He has OCD - BAD. Literally everything he does drives me nuts. He walks in late. He spaces out. He mats his bangs down on his face constantly. He asks the strangest questions at the most inappropriate times. He never finishes his art projects because he is either organizing his colored pencils or he is too worried about making it perfect.

But music class is so much worse. We're doing recorder and while he can recognize the notes on the page and show you how it's fingered on the recorder, that's basically the extent. Normally, he just doesn't play with the rest of the class. And I keep having to get him back on task.

Today he developed a new tick.

Now he can't have any spit in his recorder.

Which means that after every single note that he plays, he immediatel has to take this big, huge, loud suck through the recorder to get the spit back that just might have gone into the instrument. Every. Damn. Time.

The sound can be heard even when everyone else in the class is playing at the same time. It makes other kids stop and turn around. It makes me want to lose my lunch.

So I talked to the class about how they should breath when they are playing their instrument. And even what they should do if their nose is stopped up. But does that help the situation?

NO.

I asked him to please stop making that noise and he argued that his recorder won't play when there is spit inside.

Then he took the whole damn thing apart.

Then he put it back together again and starting sucking through it again.

I wanted to punch him.

He is my pet peeve.

Oh, and he's also the kid that is afraid of cameras and refuses to stand in the front row at the Christmas program. So even if he does manage to learn the damn music, he's going to spend the whole time up there on the risers ducking behind other students to get away from the camera flash.

This kid needs help. Because I can't give it to him!

New Moon review

I really bet that A wished he hadn't owed me a chic flick. Because I finally cashed in. We saw New Moon on Saturday.

First, let me start off by saying that I am not Twilight crazed. I read the series a year ago and enjoyed them. That's it.

I was curious to see if this movie was going to be any better than the first one. Because let's be honest - Twilight could have been done a lot better.













This movie was done better. The acting was better, and it definitely looked like they had more of a budget this time around.

Here were my issues though:

It was too long.

Parts were incredibly too slow.

They had a hard task, because this was a depressing book. And had they left all of the suicidal banter from the book in the movie, I would still probably be sitting there. So yes, I can tell that they tried.

A was bored out of his mind. I don't really blame him. The only reason I wasn't completely was because I knew the story. I already had a connection with the characters. But I was uncomfortable sitting there for 2 and a half hours.

I had forgotten, since it has been a while since I read through the books, how much of a Jacob fan I am. I don't care what all those Team Edward people say. Jacob is so much better for Bella. Plus, he's a big puppy dog! I found myself getting pissed at the end when she leaves Jacob, after all those near make-out sessions for Edward, without even really an explanation.

Edward, you are an idiot. You don't deserve her.

"But I did it because I love her. I was trying to protect her."

Can it, buster. She should be with Jacob.

"Edward, I want you to change me NOW!"

Shut the fuck up, Bella. You're dumb.

Yes, I will be seeing the other two movies when they come out. They've got me. I'm just curious enough to hand over my money.

I give this film 3 imaginary stars.

Nothin' says "ho, ho, ho" like this sweater

Hells-to-the-no. I don't think you could pay me money to wear this sweater.

Now, I will admit that I have a few articles of holiday clothing, mostly because I work at a school with lots of little kids. And I have to look festive when I do my Christmas programs. But let's store this one in the never category.

Not that it would really be appropriate for me to wear to work anyway!

How do they know it started with a kiss, anyway? It could have started with a hug, or you could have skipped the foreplay and just rammed it right in.

If I see any pregnant woman out there sporting this sweater, I'm going to have a hard time not saying anything to her. Loudly. With my fist.

I am hateful

I want to just quit. Give up. Flip my boss the bird on both hands and never look back. But I can't. Because we couldn't afford it. (And it wouldn't look so great when I decided I wanted to try to get a job again...)

There is no way that I could possibly go into all the details, but my boss had an hour-long talk with me on Monday and what all boiled down to I either try to be more like him or I'm out of a job at the end of the school year.

Some things I can change. I can sit at my desk less. I would argue that I wasn't at my desk all that much, and when I was, it was at the very end of classes. But since you can't argue with my boss, this means that unless I am on my plan, I am not allowed to sit at my desk.

And yet, he still sends out emails in the middle of the freaking day that he wants us to respond immediately to. ::shakes fist::

Yes, my classroom is dusty. And some things could be thrown away or organized better. Ok ok, I'll work on that.

But my classroom management? Are you freaking kidding me? And no one else has trouble with the 8th grade?

I CALL BULLSHIT.

My principal thinks that I should spend all of my time with the middle school students playing our percussion instruments. So I should reward their bad behavior by letting them handle very expensive school equipment. Sounds like a grand fucking plan to me.

And they should perform once a month. No.

Ok, so I can definitely do the drums with my 7th graders - most of them are good kids. Only a few difficult ones. And I have the instruments - enough to go around. But I do not have the curriculum materials to teach them. Drum circles just don't fucking develop out of no where. But does my boss offer to send me to any professional development? No. I'm supposed to fucking pull it out my ass.

This is all because he went to a conference in Indy a few weeks ago where he saw a middle school group perform a half-hour's worth of drum circle shit. And now he has to have that here.

Did I mention that he fucking went through my desk when I wasn't at school Thursday morning and berated me about my food stash? Invasion of privacy, anyone? I'm not the one hiding a mini fridge in my classroom like the primary teachers. But I get my ass reamed for a pop tart and some peanuts in a jar?

There were many other things that were thrown out at me. I'll spare you.

So I'm stuck. I know that I have to become an assertive kiss-ass if I want to save my own job.

This makes me irritable, depressed-like, upset - I can't sleep at night. I think of scenarios where harm is caused to my boss (not by me, of course!)

Baby Daven is going to grow up to be big and strong, and then he's going to come back and kick this guy's ass.