Saturday, September 26, 2009
People cones
Thanks, A, for this one. It's twisted and hilarious all at the same time. And it makes me want ice cream cones!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Grieving father takes boobie handouts
It starts out as a sad story. This guy and his wife, both college professors, are having their second child. Something goes terribly wrong. The mom dies during childbirth.
Then it just gets weird.
Apparently, the parents were "firm believers" in breastfeeding. But you would think that the loss of the mother would change this, and the baby would be formula fed, right?
Nope.
Approximately 25 of women from the area have rallied around, to lend a boob to baby Moses. Yes, the women of the town go to this guy's house in shifts to breastfeed the baby. WTF?
I am not kidding you.
First of all, how could this boob belief be so strong that you would want stranger women coming into your house to whip out their ta-tas for your newborn son? And secondly, how is this kid NOT confused out of his mind? So many boobs, so little time.
But it's not just feed and run for these ladies, no, no!
"They don't just drop by for five minutes and leave," Goodrich said. "These are loving, nurturing women. They're proud of what they're doing. They're proud of the community, and they're proud of their new micro-community."
Yes indeed, proud of the milk they squirt.
And maybe trying to make the moves on the grieving dad.
This whole thing just boggles my mind. I guess I'm just not good-natured enough to think I'd ever lend a boob. I mean, we aren't pilgrims. There are other means by which to feed the baby! Whatever makes them happy though. I just hope one of the boob stripers doesn't have AIDS. Or psychotic tendencies.
Then it just gets weird.
Apparently, the parents were "firm believers" in breastfeeding. But you would think that the loss of the mother would change this, and the baby would be formula fed, right?
Nope.
Approximately 25 of women from the area have rallied around, to lend a boob to baby Moses. Yes, the women of the town go to this guy's house in shifts to breastfeed the baby. WTF?
I am not kidding you.
First of all, how could this boob belief be so strong that you would want stranger women coming into your house to whip out their ta-tas for your newborn son? And secondly, how is this kid NOT confused out of his mind? So many boobs, so little time.
But it's not just feed and run for these ladies, no, no!
"They don't just drop by for five minutes and leave," Goodrich said. "These are loving, nurturing women. They're proud of what they're doing. They're proud of the community, and they're proud of their new micro-community."
Yes indeed, proud of the milk they squirt.
And maybe trying to make the moves on the grieving dad.
This whole thing just boggles my mind. I guess I'm just not good-natured enough to think I'd ever lend a boob. I mean, we aren't pilgrims. There are other means by which to feed the baby! Whatever makes them happy though. I just hope one of the boob stripers doesn't have AIDS. Or psychotic tendencies.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
A tribute to Kanye
It's been all over the news by now what this fuck-tard did at the VMAs earlier this week. A was right - South Park coined Kanye correctly! (Do you like to eat fish sticks? Yes. Well what are you, a gay fish. NO I'M NOT!!)
The joke
The music video
So, not only did word leak out that the president called Kanye West a jackass (big thumbs up!) but people all over have been making fun of his drunken outrage where he took over Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to tell everyone that Beyonce had the best video. Well, some very creative people have done some tributes to this outrageous explosion of stupidity. I've chosen some that I know A will appreciate, and I think you will too.
Ok, so that last one was for me. I know it's so simple, but it's so hilarious at the same time! We can make fun of this turd so much! All of the pictures can be found here.
Go to hell, Kanye.
The joke
The music video
So, not only did word leak out that the president called Kanye West a jackass (big thumbs up!) but people all over have been making fun of his drunken outrage where he took over Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to tell everyone that Beyonce had the best video. Well, some very creative people have done some tributes to this outrageous explosion of stupidity. I've chosen some that I know A will appreciate, and I think you will too.
Ok, so that last one was for me. I know it's so simple, but it's so hilarious at the same time! We can make fun of this turd so much! All of the pictures can be found here.
Go to hell, Kanye.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
If you are a male and have any decency, please only wear black bike shorts!
A shared this with me. I laugh every time I see it. He found it on digg.com. I think he's a bit obsessed with the site, actually, but if he wasn't, then I would never know about this little gem.
I do not like bike shorts. I have never worn them myself. I guess if I were a serious biker though (think streamers, not motorcycles), I'd have to. There are a lot of serious bikers out there. They compete and race and all that grand stuff.
But some of them don't wear black bike shorts.
But why does that matter, L? What if they don't like the color black? What if they need more variety in their biking gear? Well my friends, if you are a man, then this is why. Lets have a little look, ok?
I really don't think that I need to go into any further explanation here. I mean, with the red shorts, the two guys on the far right's penises are talking to each other. I wonder what they are saying?
"Mighty good ride today."
"I'll show you a good ride."
"You're such a tease!"
And poor Mr. Popcorn there, second to the left. I would feel inadequate too, buddy.
Guys, please wear black bike shorts. I mean, it's still obvious that there's a bulge there, but at least we don't have to know when your penis is talking to another person's crotch.
I do not like bike shorts. I have never worn them myself. I guess if I were a serious biker though (think streamers, not motorcycles), I'd have to. There are a lot of serious bikers out there. They compete and race and all that grand stuff.
But some of them don't wear black bike shorts.
But why does that matter, L? What if they don't like the color black? What if they need more variety in their biking gear? Well my friends, if you are a man, then this is why. Lets have a little look, ok?
I really don't think that I need to go into any further explanation here. I mean, with the red shorts, the two guys on the far right's penises are talking to each other. I wonder what they are saying?
"Mighty good ride today."
"I'll show you a good ride."
"You're such a tease!"
And poor Mr. Popcorn there, second to the left. I would feel inadequate too, buddy.
Guys, please wear black bike shorts. I mean, it's still obvious that there's a bulge there, but at least we don't have to know when your penis is talking to another person's crotch.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Dumb-ass Duggars
I know this is the talk of the town today, as these weirdos were on the morning news again, so I have to talk about it. Mrs. Clown Car is having her 19th baby. Yep. The youngest is only 5 months old, and she's 3 months pregnant with this one. Good Lord! She must have a vag of steel. I know that once you have had a baby, you are supposed to wait at least 6 weeks before getting the snake out of it's cage again.
Seriously, what about this couple just screams frequent sex? I wouldn't want to touch either one of them for all the money in the world. ::blech:: I mean, in order to have 19 kids, imagine how many times they've had to do it!
They claim that they are leaving it up to God to decide how many kids they will have.
::bring bring::
God: Hello?
Me: Hey God, it's L. Look, I was hoping that you could do me a little favor.
God: I've already told you, the world can't be made out of sushi
Me: No no, it's about that Duggar lady.
God: What an idiot!
Me: I know, right? So, how about you do your magic and make this woman go through menopause already! Thank, God! You're the man!
Really, is it about "God's will" and wanting a big family? Or is it about shocking everyone yet again when they found out that her uterus of gold is housing yet another conservative Duggar?
This is getting out of hand. I think someone needs to start force-feeding her birth control. Or just cut out her damn ute. I'm tired of hearing about it, and I'm tired of seeing it.
Screw you, Duggars!
We have sex all the time!
Seriously, what about this couple just screams frequent sex? I wouldn't want to touch either one of them for all the money in the world. ::blech:: I mean, in order to have 19 kids, imagine how many times they've had to do it!
They claim that they are leaving it up to God to decide how many kids they will have.
::bring bring::
God: Hello?
Me: Hey God, it's L. Look, I was hoping that you could do me a little favor.
God: I've already told you, the world can't be made out of sushi
Me: No no, it's about that Duggar lady.
God: What an idiot!
Me: I know, right? So, how about you do your magic and make this woman go through menopause already! Thank, God! You're the man!
Really, is it about "God's will" and wanting a big family? Or is it about shocking everyone yet again when they found out that her uterus of gold is housing yet another conservative Duggar?
This is getting out of hand. I think someone needs to start force-feeding her birth control. Or just cut out her damn ute. I'm tired of hearing about it, and I'm tired of seeing it.
Screw you, Duggars!
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