My cuddle kit

I'm not sure if A believes me, but I swear that the only reason Mia snuggles on me as much as she does is because she's a boob kind of girl. A doesn't have mountains for her to rest on!

I am seriously no good in the kitchen

Since I had the day off today and we are currently low on funds, I decided to make lunch today. I mean, how hard can a cheese quesadilla be? I'm sure I've made them before. Well, today was not my day.
Yeah, it was still edible and all, but come on! You'd think I could do better than that! The damn tortillas were too big to fit in the pan and then they stuck to the bottom when I tried to flip it over. Urgh. I need a full-time cook in this house.

Bohemian Rhapsody by the Muppets!

I have always been a Muppets fan. I watched Muppet Babies when I was little, and the Muppet Show when it was on. I've seen the 3D Muppets in MGM Studios. They make me smile. And this video is pure awesome.

So everyone has pet peeves

But what if you have a student that is a total pet peeve of yours?

Yes, I realize that this makes me sound like a bitch. I am a teacher and I am supposed to love and adore every single one of my students. Well let me just tell you that this is bullshit and whoever said that was on fucking drugs.

Anyway.

There's this kid. He has OCD - BAD. Literally everything he does drives me nuts. He walks in late. He spaces out. He mats his bangs down on his face constantly. He asks the strangest questions at the most inappropriate times. He never finishes his art projects because he is either organizing his colored pencils or he is too worried about making it perfect.

But music class is so much worse. We're doing recorder and while he can recognize the notes on the page and show you how it's fingered on the recorder, that's basically the extent. Normally, he just doesn't play with the rest of the class. And I keep having to get him back on task.

Today he developed a new tick.

Now he can't have any spit in his recorder.

Which means that after every single note that he plays, he immediatel has to take this big, huge, loud suck through the recorder to get the spit back that just might have gone into the instrument. Every. Damn. Time.

The sound can be heard even when everyone else in the class is playing at the same time. It makes other kids stop and turn around. It makes me want to lose my lunch.

So I talked to the class about how they should breath when they are playing their instrument. And even what they should do if their nose is stopped up. But does that help the situation?

NO.

I asked him to please stop making that noise and he argued that his recorder won't play when there is spit inside.

Then he took the whole damn thing apart.

Then he put it back together again and starting sucking through it again.

I wanted to punch him.

He is my pet peeve.

Oh, and he's also the kid that is afraid of cameras and refuses to stand in the front row at the Christmas program. So even if he does manage to learn the damn music, he's going to spend the whole time up there on the risers ducking behind other students to get away from the camera flash.

This kid needs help. Because I can't give it to him!

New Moon review

I really bet that A wished he hadn't owed me a chic flick. Because I finally cashed in. We saw New Moon on Saturday.

First, let me start off by saying that I am not Twilight crazed. I read the series a year ago and enjoyed them. That's it.

I was curious to see if this movie was going to be any better than the first one. Because let's be honest - Twilight could have been done a lot better.













This movie was done better. The acting was better, and it definitely looked like they had more of a budget this time around.

Here were my issues though:

It was too long.

Parts were incredibly too slow.

They had a hard task, because this was a depressing book. And had they left all of the suicidal banter from the book in the movie, I would still probably be sitting there. So yes, I can tell that they tried.

A was bored out of his mind. I don't really blame him. The only reason I wasn't completely was because I knew the story. I already had a connection with the characters. But I was uncomfortable sitting there for 2 and a half hours.

I had forgotten, since it has been a while since I read through the books, how much of a Jacob fan I am. I don't care what all those Team Edward people say. Jacob is so much better for Bella. Plus, he's a big puppy dog! I found myself getting pissed at the end when she leaves Jacob, after all those near make-out sessions for Edward, without even really an explanation.

Edward, you are an idiot. You don't deserve her.

"But I did it because I love her. I was trying to protect her."

Can it, buster. She should be with Jacob.

"Edward, I want you to change me NOW!"

Shut the fuck up, Bella. You're dumb.

Yes, I will be seeing the other two movies when they come out. They've got me. I'm just curious enough to hand over my money.

I give this film 3 imaginary stars.

Nothin' says "ho, ho, ho" like this sweater

Hells-to-the-no. I don't think you could pay me money to wear this sweater.

Now, I will admit that I have a few articles of holiday clothing, mostly because I work at a school with lots of little kids. And I have to look festive when I do my Christmas programs. But let's store this one in the never category.

Not that it would really be appropriate for me to wear to work anyway!

How do they know it started with a kiss, anyway? It could have started with a hug, or you could have skipped the foreplay and just rammed it right in.

If I see any pregnant woman out there sporting this sweater, I'm going to have a hard time not saying anything to her. Loudly. With my fist.

I am hateful

I want to just quit. Give up. Flip my boss the bird on both hands and never look back. But I can't. Because we couldn't afford it. (And it wouldn't look so great when I decided I wanted to try to get a job again...)

There is no way that I could possibly go into all the details, but my boss had an hour-long talk with me on Monday and what all boiled down to I either try to be more like him or I'm out of a job at the end of the school year.

Some things I can change. I can sit at my desk less. I would argue that I wasn't at my desk all that much, and when I was, it was at the very end of classes. But since you can't argue with my boss, this means that unless I am on my plan, I am not allowed to sit at my desk.

And yet, he still sends out emails in the middle of the freaking day that he wants us to respond immediately to. ::shakes fist::

Yes, my classroom is dusty. And some things could be thrown away or organized better. Ok ok, I'll work on that.

But my classroom management? Are you freaking kidding me? And no one else has trouble with the 8th grade?

I CALL BULLSHIT.

My principal thinks that I should spend all of my time with the middle school students playing our percussion instruments. So I should reward their bad behavior by letting them handle very expensive school equipment. Sounds like a grand fucking plan to me.

And they should perform once a month. No.

Ok, so I can definitely do the drums with my 7th graders - most of them are good kids. Only a few difficult ones. And I have the instruments - enough to go around. But I do not have the curriculum materials to teach them. Drum circles just don't fucking develop out of no where. But does my boss offer to send me to any professional development? No. I'm supposed to fucking pull it out my ass.

This is all because he went to a conference in Indy a few weeks ago where he saw a middle school group perform a half-hour's worth of drum circle shit. And now he has to have that here.

Did I mention that he fucking went through my desk when I wasn't at school Thursday morning and berated me about my food stash? Invasion of privacy, anyone? I'm not the one hiding a mini fridge in my classroom like the primary teachers. But I get my ass reamed for a pop tart and some peanuts in a jar?

There were many other things that were thrown out at me. I'll spare you.

So I'm stuck. I know that I have to become an assertive kiss-ass if I want to save my own job.

This makes me irritable, depressed-like, upset - I can't sleep at night. I think of scenarios where harm is caused to my boss (not by me, of course!)

Baby Daven is going to grow up to be big and strong, and then he's going to come back and kick this guy's ass.

Jew repellent!

Bacon soap!

Never have time on the week days to fry up your favorite bacon? Now you can have it in the shower!

Have an orthodox frenemy that just won't get out of your grill? Bathe with bacon!

The makers of this pretty little product "captured the enticing aroma of frying bacon in a bar of soap"

For just $5.95 (+shipping) this glorious bar of soap can be yours!

Wait, what? That's not enough, you say? Well then you'll be delighted to add this to your own stocking this holiday:

Here's the smell of bacon that you can continue to reapply as many times a day as you like. It'll make everyone in the office want to have breakfast for dinner.

Or maybe they'll just want to eat you...

For only $2.95, who wouldn't want to give it a try (and a taste!)

For these and other bacon things, you can visit here.

Farking fark

Fark #1
So the Veteran's Day program is this Friday. I've got a ton of groups performing. One of them is my 6th grade orchestra. Yes, the word orchestra sounds like a big group, but at my little school, I only have 2 students.

They are nice kids and work well together, and we generally get a lot done in class. I enjoy them.

One of my two kids just went home earlier with the stomach bug and a temp. This means best case, he will still be out tomorrow for the dress rehearsal. What will we do if he's not here Friday? I don't want to make my one student play it by herself. But I don't have a violin to play along with her.

Fark.

Fark #2
This has to do with the same stinking program. For whatever reason, the deanery science fair is the same day as the program. I worked it out with the principal so that my band students involved in both could still do both. But today in my sign language electives, I was informed that two of my 6 kids in there are going to the science fair and won't be there to sign the Pledge of Allegiance with us. Another is a part of the church choir and might not be able to sign with the group. So that leaves 3 of them, 2 of which aren't the shiniest gold in the treasure chest.

Fark.

Yeah, I'm that lame

I was sitting in my classroom with my 6th grade band today before lunch and I was playing clarinet along with them. We were practicing for the song they are playing for the Veteran's Day program last week. I started them out and played along, but quickly had to stop because they were playing way too fast - even too fast for them!

And this is what I said:

"Woah, woah! Slow down! If I were the tempo police, you'd all get a ticket!"

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all year.

A short conversation with a 2nd grader

There are these two girls in one of my classes that, my alphabetical order, sit together. As they were walking in to my class today, I called their names and asked one of the girls to sit in the next row back for today. They both ignored me and walked away.

"______, come here please"

She slowly walks back up to me.

"I was talking to you when you came in the door."

Blank stare

"Would you like it if I walked away from you while you were talking to me?"

"Yes."

Not the response I was going for! I guess I need to learn to stop asking questions to which I am expecting a certain answer. Well played, 2nd grader. Well played.

For fuck's sake!

My 6th and 7th/8th band classes have been preparing for the Veteran's Day program (next Friday) since pretty much the beginning of the school year. We're finally so close to being performance ready! And then they dropped a bomb.

"Mrs. R, did you know that the deanery science fair is next Friday?"

"No, I was not aware of this. How does that affect us?"

"Well, there are going to be 5 people chosen to go to the science fair, and if we are chosen, we won't be there for the program."

"How many of you are entered?"

6 of them.

How many students in total do I have, you ask?

11

Fuck.

So I could possibly be missing half of my band for our first performance of the year. And you can guess who that will look bad on.

On another note, I'm trying to find a sub for next Thursday, when I have my morning appointment at the doctors for the 1 hour GD test. But can I find a sub? Keep in mind that this is over a week away...NO! Apparently they are having a teacher inservice that day and already have 7 subs lined up. So guess who's fucked? You've got it. But if I had tried to line up a sub a month ago when I got the appointment, I wouldn't have gotten an answer from anyone because that would have been too far in advance.

God, I love this place.

And I fail

So I was giving this private lesson to a violin student who because of his schedule, cannot join our orchestra class. He promises me that he still wants to play and that he will promise to practice. This is his third year playing.

I'm sitting there listening to him, and he clearly wasn't playing the excerpt right.

"What kind of notes are those in the second measure?"

"Quarter note?"

"No, those are not quarter notes"

"Uhh..."

"They're half notes, ____"

"So now that I've told you that they are half notes, how many beats does a half note get?"

"Uh, a half a beat?"

::headdeskrepeat::

Seriously? I fail as a teacher.

I could say in my defense that he's border line special needs, but really, I fail.

I love you, Cookie Monster!

Cookie Monster - so bold, so brave, so obsessed with cookies! I cannot believe that current-day Sesame Street has you eating fruits and vegetables. You will always be my blue, cuddly cookie-scarfer and hoarder. You bring a smile to my face and give me a craving for desserts.

Ok, it's not the JOB I hate...

It's my mother fucking principal!

One of our students that decided to go to a public middle school this year just came back to my school. And (jumps up in down in excitement!) she wanted to join band! Finally, a female in my 6th gr. band class! I told her when to bring her clarinet and she came down for band.

Shocker, since I forced my kids to take their instruments home for fall break, 2 out of the 3 others (boys) did not have theirs. And they made these pouty faces at me when I was giving them the business. So curious, I asked my new fav. student what was expected of her for band at her other school.

Well, they are required to practice for 15 minutes a day. This must be recorded on a practice log chart. This chart must be signed by a parent every week and turned in. Failure to turn your sheet in results in an automatic drop in their grade by one letter. If they do not have their instrument, they get lunch detention. If they continue to forget their instrument, they are kicked out of band.

For fuck's sake. This is how it was when I was in middle school band as well. And we all took it seriously. Well, most of us did, and those who didn't were quickly weeded out. And I loved every minute of it.

So why can't I run my instrumental program like that? Because my principal is a push-over pussy. I've tried doing practice logs before and requiring practice time, but when they didn't turn them in (and no one did) I was not allowed to take appropriate action. The kids here have no motivation to do well because we are not allowed to punish them regardless. This more than anything else, infuriates me about this school.

It's not just my band kids. All of the middle school kids are disrespectful and lazy. If they don't want to do their homework, all they have to do is argue with me that I didn't tell them the right due date and then that means that I have to give them another chance. I'm serious. And I'll tell ya - my assignments are never difficult or time-consuming.

I want so much to be able to run my music program with structure and accountability. If teachers have to be accountable, why don't the students?

Our new mission statement at this school should be : "_________ _________ school - where you pay for your kid to get away with murder."

A scam and a fail

Well, it was too good to be true. I know there's no way you'll ever believe me, but the Baby Einstein series was a scam, a fark, a fuck-up. Apparently Disney is even going as far as to refund people who have bought these videos. Disney is giving money back?!

Wait, Disney, what do you mean my kid won't become a genius from watching these videos while I paint my nails? This was a win-win! And I'm sure that's how they got so many people on board with this. Plus, they used Einstein's name, and that automatically makes me think - smart!

But there has to be something to make my baby automatically smart! ::cries:: There just has to! ::stomps foot:: So go ahead, corporate America, what's your next move? What about Baby Ghandi? Surely that would stop war and cause world peace, right?


On another note, I came across this gem this morning on the forums. Too good not to share. Here's your fail:

A new look

So I finally figured out how to make my blog look more original. Do you like it? I know that the Halloween banner will have to go away in a week, but right now I couldn't find anything else to go with it and my other picture just wasn't working out. I really like the background that I found.

Well, it's time to watch wrestling with the hubs. Just wanted to write something, since I neglect this blog too much.

4 more days until the weekend!

5 more days until Halloween!

Less than a week until Halloween!

This month has just flown by it seems. It's crazy to think that Halloween is almost here! I know I haven't really had that much to say on here lately, especially since I have the other blog to keep track of too. But I always love pumpkins. Sure, these here aren't going to make a great pie anymore, but they sure are entertaining!




Tee hee! yes, that's me giggling. Silly pumpkins!

This judge should be shot

link

Seriously.

Greys is getting more gray

Seriously, Grey's Anatomy used to be my favorite show. I would eagerly await each Thursday when a new episode would come on. I own the first 3 seasons I think. I loved it. And I was really looking forward to the new season starting. My best friend at college and I would always take a break from whatever we were doing to watch it together.

The first episode just left me crying the whole time. George is dead. I'm pregnant. I couldn't handle it. But I waited for the episodes to follow, because TVGuide promised that this new season was going to being back some of the funny that it used to have.

You lied to me, TVGuide!

While I haven't cried anymore yet, I've just sat on the couch pissed off while I watch. It seems like this season is all about maybe getting fired, and I don't like it. Give Christina a surgery once in a while! And why do all of the new residents from the merger have to be such douches? I don't like it at all.

If I weren't so emotionally invested in all the main characters, I would just give the show up. But I continue to watch, hoping that the next week will be better than the last.

I knew Izzy was going to leave, but it was sad anyway. And it seemed like such a cheap way to write her off. I don't think that she almost killed that poor woman! You're full of shit, whoever decided to write that!

And I'm just wondering how they're going to write Meredith off. It is so fucking obvious that she is mega pregnant in those tapings, I don't know why they didn't decide to write it into the show. She's laying in a hospital bed, big as a whale for her size, and we're just supposed to overlook it. Well I see it! And I feel like it's a cover-up as big as a soap opera!

The only good thing they seem to have going for them right now is Cali and her lesbian relationship. She was the only reason I laughed out loud at all during last night's episode. "You can't pray away the gay!"

Greys, I hope you get your shit together. Because right now Mercy is beating the pants off you. I'm so disappointed! ::wagging my finger::

Never let a crack head sing at your funeral

This made me smile

People cones

Thanks, A, for this one. It's twisted and hilarious all at the same time. And it makes me want ice cream cones!

Grieving father takes boobie handouts

It starts out as a sad story. This guy and his wife, both college professors, are having their second child. Something goes terribly wrong. The mom dies during childbirth.

Then it just gets weird.

Apparently, the parents were "firm believers" in breastfeeding. But you would think that the loss of the mother would change this, and the baby would be formula fed, right?

Nope.

Approximately 25 of women from the area have rallied around, to lend a boob to baby Moses. Yes, the women of the town go to this guy's house in shifts to breastfeed the baby. WTF?

I am not kidding you.

First of all, how could this boob belief be so strong that you would want stranger women coming into your house to whip out their ta-tas for your newborn son? And secondly, how is this kid NOT confused out of his mind? So many boobs, so little time.

But it's not just feed and run for these ladies, no, no!

"They don't just drop by for five minutes and leave," Goodrich said. "These are loving, nurturing women. They're proud of what they're doing. They're proud of the community, and they're proud of their new micro-community."

Yes indeed, proud of the milk they squirt.

And maybe trying to make the moves on the grieving dad.

This whole thing just boggles my mind. I guess I'm just not good-natured enough to think I'd ever lend a boob. I mean, we aren't pilgrims. There are other means by which to feed the baby! Whatever makes them happy though. I just hope one of the boob stripers doesn't have AIDS. Or psychotic tendencies.

A tribute to Kanye

It's been all over the news by now what this fuck-tard did at the VMAs earlier this week. A was right - South Park coined Kanye correctly! (Do you like to eat fish sticks? Yes. Well what are you, a gay fish. NO I'M NOT!!)

The joke

The music video

So, not only did word leak out that the president called Kanye West a jackass (big thumbs up!) but people all over have been making fun of his drunken outrage where he took over Taylor Swift's acceptance speech to tell everyone that Beyonce had the best video. Well, some very creative people have done some tributes to this outrageous explosion of stupidity. I've chosen some that I know A will appreciate, and I think you will too.







Ok, so that last one was for me. I know it's so simple, but it's so hilarious at the same time! We can make fun of this turd so much! All of the pictures can be found here.

Go to hell, Kanye.

If you are a male and have any decency, please only wear black bike shorts!

A shared this with me. I laugh every time I see it. He found it on digg.com. I think he's a bit obsessed with the site, actually, but if he wasn't, then I would never know about this little gem.

I do not like bike shorts. I have never worn them myself. I guess if I were a serious biker though (think streamers, not motorcycles), I'd have to. There are a lot of serious bikers out there. They compete and race and all that grand stuff.

But some of them don't wear black bike shorts.

But why does that matter, L? What if they don't like the color black? What if they need more variety in their biking gear? Well my friends, if you are a man, then this is why. Lets have a little look, ok?


I really don't think that I need to go into any further explanation here. I mean, with the red shorts, the two guys on the far right's penises are talking to each other. I wonder what they are saying?

"Mighty good ride today."
"I'll show you a good ride."
"You're such a tease!"

And poor Mr. Popcorn there, second to the left. I would feel inadequate too, buddy.

Guys, please wear black bike shorts. I mean, it's still obvious that there's a bulge there, but at least we don't have to know when your penis is talking to another person's crotch.

Dumb-ass Duggars

I know this is the talk of the town today, as these weirdos were on the morning news again, so I have to talk about it. Mrs. Clown Car is having her 19th baby. Yep. The youngest is only 5 months old, and she's 3 months pregnant with this one. Good Lord! She must have a vag of steel. I know that once you have had a baby, you are supposed to wait at least 6 weeks before getting the snake out of it's cage again.

We have sex all the time!

Seriously, what about this couple just screams frequent sex? I wouldn't want to touch either one of them for all the money in the world. ::blech:: I mean, in order to have 19 kids, imagine how many times they've had to do it!

They claim that they are leaving it up to God to decide how many kids they will have.

::bring bring::

God: Hello?

Me: Hey God, it's L. Look, I was hoping that you could do me a little favor.

God: I've already told you, the world can't be made out of sushi

Me: No no, it's about that Duggar lady.

God: What an idiot!

Me: I know, right? So, how about you do your magic and make this woman go through menopause already! Thank, God! You're the man!


Really, is it about "God's will" and wanting a big family? Or is it about shocking everyone yet again when they found out that her uterus of gold is housing yet another conservative Duggar?

This is getting out of hand. I think someone needs to start force-feeding her birth control. Or just cut out her damn ute. I'm tired of hearing about it, and I'm tired of seeing it.

Screw you, Duggars!

Coheed and Cambria concert at Headliners

I know that I've taken a long time to post about this, but here it is finally. Monday, Aug. 17 was the day. I was so excited about seeing Coheed and Cambria at Headliners in Louisville. We've always had to travel to see them, and this time they were right across the river! A and I went, and we took his sister and my friend panda.

The shirt I'm wearing is the one that I made. It has the keywork on the belly and above that it says, "Baby's first concert".

A, me, sis, and panda
Before the show

L and I are super excited!

Aw, brother and sister

No! Don't eat the ticket, panda!

Me and the hubby

A bit of their equipment

Banner in the back

Chris's drumset

After we stood in our spots at the front on the railing for an hour, the local band played. Bless their hearts, they weren't that good. Entertaining sure, but get the drummer a better set! He had to stop and fix something with it after just about every song! After they played, we still had to wait I don't know how long until Coheed came on. Everything up until then was fine and dandy. I had no idea that I was about to get humped and smashed by complete strangers!

Travis's new haircut!

Claudio playing (Mic in the background)

I love this band with all of my soul, but their concert experience wasn't exactly totally pleasant. From the moment they started playing, everyone lurched forward, as if somehow trying to get closer to the band, and smashing everyone and everything. If I hadn't been on the railing, I wouldn't have been able to stay standing up. The show was sold out and it was like everyone in the room was trying to get your exact spot. They were jumping around, slamming into one another, elbowing - it was crazy. I for one like to have my own personal space, and this concert definitely made me feel very claustrophobic. Add on top of that it was about 100 degrees in there and I was sweating from every place on my body you could possibly sweat from. It was worse than an all day trip to Disney World. Please stop shoving the pregnant lady!

There were a few times when I thought I wasn't going to make it. How I got through the show without passing out, I will never know. A tried to get me to move and go to the back a couple of times, but damnit, he stood in line all day for our spots and I wasn't going to make us give them up to those idiots behind us!

Have I mentioned yet that I hate crowd surfers? Well let me do that now. What are you thinking? Do you like having stranger's hands all over your parts? How exactly do you think you are appreciating the music when you are kicking people in the head and have to have security help get you down? How about you chill the fuck down, stand in your place and appreciate by singing and listening! Dumb fucks. I'm sorry if you are a crowd surfer. You might not be a completely bad person. But I don't like you.

So there was this dumb bitch who Lord help her, I don't know her name. But if I did, she would have it coming! I don't know exactly what happened, but this girl was a total twat. Some high school chic was being really nasty to my friend, panda. I don't know if it was because she wanted her spot or her looks or what. Throughout the concert she was elbowing and shoving my friend. Panda tried to ignore her and just push her back a little. Then the bitch had the audacity to dig her nails into and down my friend's back. At this point, panda turned about and decked her right in the face. And this started the fight. If I had been over there with her, I think I would have gotten myself kicked out because no one fucking does that to one of my friends. I don't fight and have never fought anyone in my life, but my pregnancy hormones were kicking in and I wanted over there to whoop that girl's ass!

Security broke it up and I don't know how that girl got to stay and watch the rest of the concert. One of the guys told me that if I so much as touched another person and he saw it, I would be kicked out. This was after I told him about my utter distaste for crowd surfers.

So what about the actual show? They played great. It was a 12 song set. I loved watching them play. I just wish that I could have sang along more. But you couldn't breathe in there! The only thing I wish is that the environment that they played in would have been more condusive to me actually being able to fully enjoy it!

One thing that I was slightly disappointed about, despite the fact that it was blazing hot and miserable in there, I wish that they would have played a longer improve on final cut. It is so awesome when each member of the band gets their own solo section. Of course, if I were them, I wouldn't want to play anymore either. They still played it for significantly longer than the regular recording. And I can't really complain because they are amazing!

The rest of the night made up for my discomfort during the concert though. We got to meet half the band!

Us with Wes, the keyboard player

Wes signing our shirts!

Mic, the bass player, signing A's shirt

Us and Mic

Waiting for Claudio

Claudio signing A's shirt

Us and Claudio, lead singer and rhythm guitar

Claudio even signed A's tattoo of one of their comic covers

In addition to getting our new shirts signed that we purchased at the concert, I also got Claudio to sign the shirt I was wearing on the belly, so technically our little one has already gotten his or her first concert autograph. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet Travis or Chris. But I didn't think that we would be able to meet any of them, and was so happy that they took the time to talk to us, sign our shirts, and get pictures with us. It was definitely a night that I'm never going to forget. They were all such nice, down to earth people and that makes me love the band even more. I already can't wait until we can see them in concert again. Although next time, hopefully I'll be able to keep my personal space like at their Halloween show a few years ago in Cleveland. I think as far as show-wise, that one was still my favorite, although nothing can compare to meeting some of the band!

I heart you, Coheed and Cambria!

Bebe Gluton, for even before you have breasts!

Ok, I had to share this with you. I cannot imagine that my mother would ever let me have a doll like this. Yes, I had Baby Uh-oh, who "peed and pooped" her diaper, but this is just too much.


This little doll allows you to breastfeed her. What? Yes, breastfeed her. It comes with a little halter top with daisies and when you bring the baby up to the daisies, it makes sucking sounds. Then when you're all done bonding with your doll, you can burp it too!

My nipples don't look like daisies. Maybe I should get that checked out.

"But this doll promotes healthy breastfeeding and there's nothing wrong with that."

My daughter doesn't need to wear fake breasts and feed her doll in public. I think I'll just stick to the ones that cry and coo. No glutenous baby doll is going to reside in my house!

Thank goodness these aren't available in the U.S. yet! I'm not normally a conservative, but I'll just stick to the Cabbage Patch dolls myself.

How did I not know

That Ellen Pompeo is pregnant?!

I wonder how they are writing this on the new season of Grey's? Will they change the script to make Meredith pregnant? Or will they just try to "hide" it? I think her and McDreamy should have a little one, personally. Man, I can't wait for this show to start again. Even though I cry every episode!

No-no baby shower cake

While I definitely want cake at my shower, and I do love the color blue, I hope that no one decides to make my cake look like this!

"I want Olivia's twat!"

"I'll eat the baby!"

It's like when my sisters and I would fight over who got to have the icing rose on the birthday cakes.

Talk about everyone eating her out!

Zack Ryder has stupid pants

Worst pants idea ever

Wrestlers can were some funny stuff. I've only been watching wrestling since A and I got together, but it's not hard to see that some of these guys seem a bit off their rockers based on their wardrobe. But never have I ever seen something as jaw-droppingly awful as what Jack Ryder is currently wearing to his matches.

I had to create the link because much to my disappointment, I couldn't save the pictures to post here. But please do click the link and look through a few of the pictures on the slide show. You won't regret it.

All I really know is that Zack Ryder is a wrestler on ECW and I can't see past his pants to tell if he has any actual talent or not. If you haven't clicked on the link yet, you may be thinking that I'm a little too judgmental. Well, if so then check out the pants before you judge me for judging.

If you don't look, you'll never know!

Vagina - it's not a clown car

Ok, so I can't take credit for finding this one. But once it caught my eye, I couldn't leave it alone! I think I need this one framed and hung on my living room wall. Pure class. At least someone has the guts to voice the opinion that so many of us have - shut your legs, you nasty woman. Quit trying to grow a cult and retire those stirrups. No one wants to see you push out more God-lovin freaks.

It's time to be a grandma, lady, so start acting like it!

Unicorns gone wild!

Ok, ok, so after yesterday's dandy of a find, I couldn't help but look for more terrible yet giggle-worthy tattoos. I didn't have to look hard. Ever wonder if the mythical, majestic unicorns got their jollies? Well wonder no more, my friends. Here's your proof. This makes me think of a horrible song:

"You and me baby aint nothin but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the Discovery channel (gettin horny now)"

At least now we don't have to wonder about what happens somewhere over the rainbow.

Now I need a smoke after looking at this gem!

This girl must really like mustache rides...

I've got a quarter!!!! It's gunna be a good night!

I can't look at this without busting out with the giggles. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that guys were in charge of doling out the mustache rides, not girls. Of course, I guess if you have a little prickle on your upper lip, then go for it! And charge! Not too much though. You want to come off as being generous.

Ah, it sure does feel good to update this blog again. My baby blog has got me in a funk. I heart this tattoo!